As you are reading this I am in the mountains, meditating with monks, being very good and not touching my phone (No Taryn, not even to read Update Day posts or text your ex to tell you miss him. Do you want to do this or not?). As soon as I get back Sunday, after Easter dinner with my family, reading all your Do You Have Goals posts will be the first thing I will do.
Like a big, juicy reward for all that meditating.
Like a big, juicy reward for all that meditating.
The Got Goals bloghop is it is a lovely blog hop hosted by the Misha Gericke and Jen Garrett. Once a month writers post about their goals: what they are, what their approach is, how they are coming along. It's a beautiful opportunity to share with and encourage one another as we plunge down the long and winding road of writerdom together.
Check out THIS LINK if you are interested in joining.
My ultimate goal is to make a living off of my writing but I'm breaking that down into more bite sized pieces. I've got a lot of groundwork to lay first!
Here's how I fared with my March Goals:
- Reconnect with myself. Feed my soul. Find my drive
---- Mindfulness. I have registered for a five day retreat at a Monastery. I'm super psyched about it. Hoping I learn lots of useful things about myself. (CHECK. I'm there right now!)
----- Yoga. The goal is to attend five classes a week like I used to. (I attended nine yoga classes in March. That's a little less than half as many as I wanted to. It's still an improvement but I'm giving myself a half check for this one. )
-----Meditation. Fifteen minutes a day. No snoozing this time! (Including my time at the zen retreat --still in progress-- I've meditated 16 out of 31 days this month. Half check. )
----Go for walks, specifically on my break at work. Every work day unless it's raining. (I walked at work seven out of twenty one work days. Failed.)
----Actually use my sit-stand for at least two hours every work day. (I used it three out of twenty one work days. Failed)
----Actually use my sit-stand for at least two hours every work day. (I used it three out of twenty one work days. Failed)
---- 80/20 vegetable/ not vegetable ratio. (Not even close. Failed. )
--- Keep house clean. (Meh. It didn't get too bad. CHECK. )
- Find True Love. Because it exists
--- Look for and appreciate evidence of love around me
---- Spend quality time with those who value me
----Practice telling people what I need from them
These goals are a little harder to quantify. I have worked on them but it's hard to say how successful I've been. They did not yield the results I wanted but does that mean I haven't improved?
I don't know. As badly as I want it, being open to love is hard. Every time a relationship fails I wonder if things would have been different if I didn't keep myself shrouded in so many layers of walls.
And yet, it seems like every time I manage to pull a wall down I find another one behind it, stronger and more constricting than the first.
----Practice telling people what I need from them
These goals are a little harder to quantify. I have worked on them but it's hard to say how successful I've been. They did not yield the results I wanted but does that mean I haven't improved?
I don't know. As badly as I want it, being open to love is hard. Every time a relationship fails I wonder if things would have been different if I didn't keep myself shrouded in so many layers of walls.
And yet, it seems like every time I manage to pull a wall down I find another one behind it, stronger and more constricting than the first.
- Finish writing and publish NIGHT BRIARS
--- Carve out time to write. Eight hours a week. My production schedule says that the first draft needs to be typed (It's mostly in hand written at the moment) by the end of February so I"m already behind schedule. If I have to bribe myself with brunch out every Saturday and Sunday to get it done, so be it!
I wrote a total of eighteen hours this month. It wasn't the forty hours I had intended to give myself BUT I did manage to finish draft one. Still, because the goals was forty hours of writing time, half check.
I wrote a total of eighteen hours this month. It wasn't the forty hours I had intended to give myself BUT I did manage to finish draft one. Still, because the goals was forty hours of writing time, half check.
---Read at poetry readings or storytelling events. I'm going to attend four before next update day. That's about one every week.
Failed. I did not go to any. It was that dating thing. It took up a lot of the time I would normally spend on networking events.
Failed. I did not go to any. It was that dating thing. It took up a lot of the time I would normally spend on networking events.
--- Post poetry and writing updates. I'll give myself the goal of fourteen writer related posts before next update day.
Failed. Including this one I managed six out of the fourteen.
Failed. Including this one I managed six out of the fourteen.
---Participate in Do You Have Goals bloghop.
CHECK! Here I am!
--Participate in The Insecure Writer's Support Group bloghop
Failed. I have an excuse for this but writing this post is making me tired of hearing myself give excuses. I really wanted to participate in this bloghop in March but . . . I didn't.
CHECK! Here I am!
--Participate in The Insecure Writer's Support Group bloghop
Failed. I have an excuse for this but writing this post is making me tired of hearing myself give excuses. I really wanted to participate in this bloghop in March but . . . I didn't.
---Organize and attend one Crit Group
CHECK! Grit Group is always one of my favorite nights of the month.
So that comes to:
Four checks
Three half checks
Five failures
Not where I would like to be. Last month I tried easing up on my expectations of myself a little, hoping that by being gentler on myself I might achieve more. Unfortunately that didn't help as much as I'd hoped it would. Trying to achieve less just gave me more license to . . . well not try very hard.
It's really hard to motivate myself. I've been struggling a lot with depression. Just getting out of bed or taking a shower feels like an Olympic marathon right now. But the reason I have these goals is because they are things that make me happy. It's important that I don't give up on them even when it's hard to find the energy to brush my teeth (gross, I know).
So . . .
for April I'm going to try something a little different. I'm going to enlist a little magical help in the form of rewards.
Also known as self bribery.
With any luck this will also do away with the all or nothing, Failed vs. Completed mentality. I can reward myself a designated amount each time each time I move toward a goal regardless of whether or not I am completing it entirely. This will (hopefully) keep me from beating myself when I don't accomplish as much as I want to and keep me motivated to keep at it even if I know I'm not going to meet my full goal.
April Goals:
CHECK! Grit Group is always one of my favorite nights of the month.
So that comes to:
Four checks
Three half checks
Five failures
Not where I would like to be. Last month I tried easing up on my expectations of myself a little, hoping that by being gentler on myself I might achieve more. Unfortunately that didn't help as much as I'd hoped it would. Trying to achieve less just gave me more license to . . . well not try very hard.
It's really hard to motivate myself. I've been struggling a lot with depression. Just getting out of bed or taking a shower feels like an Olympic marathon right now. But the reason I have these goals is because they are things that make me happy. It's important that I don't give up on them even when it's hard to find the energy to brush my teeth (gross, I know).
So . . .
for April I'm going to try something a little different. I'm going to enlist a little magical help in the form of rewards.
Also known as self bribery.
With any luck this will also do away with the all or nothing, Failed vs. Completed mentality. I can reward myself a designated amount each time each time I move toward a goal regardless of whether or not I am completing it entirely. This will (hopefully) keep me from beating myself when I don't accomplish as much as I want to and keep me motivated to keep at it even if I know I'm not going to meet my full goal.
April Goals:
- Reconnect with myself. Feed my soul. Find my drive
----- Yoga. Attend nineteen classes before next update day. After each class I will set aside five dollars to a vacation fund. If I make it to all nineteen classes I will add an extra twenty dollars at the end of the month.
-----Meditation. Meditate twenty six times for fifteen minutes each time. Each morning I meditate I will reward myself with a chocolate banana smoothie for breakfast. When I don't meditate I'll just have plain, unsweetened oatmeal.
----Go for mindful walks on my break at work. That's nineteen work days between now and next update day. Each time I do this I get to eat a piece of (vegan) chocolate.
----Actually use my sit-stand for a total of thirty eight hours. Each hour I do this I get to eat a piece of (vegan) chocolate.
----Actually use my sit-stand for a total of thirty eight hours. Each hour I do this I get to eat a piece of (vegan) chocolate.
---- Drink a total of one hundred and eighty tow glasses of water. With each glass of water I can spend a quarter on clothes or other fashion accessories. If I drink all Hundred and eighty two I can add an extra five dollars to round the total up to fifty dollars.
- Find True Love. Because it exists
--- Read The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer. When I finish it I get to get all dressed up and go dancing!
- Finish writing and publish NIGHT BRIARS
--- Carve out time to write. Twenty hours of writing before next update day.
Bribing myself with brunch every weekend while I write has been working pretty well. I'm way more focused when I write at a cafe instead of at home. I'm going to add a dinner out with me and my laptop every Monday as well so that I cover more time.
Bribing myself with brunch every weekend while I write has been working pretty well. I'm way more focused when I write at a cafe instead of at home. I'm going to add a dinner out with me and my laptop every Monday as well so that I cover more time.
---Write three slam style poems.
Each Poem gives me forty dollars to use for improv classes but they must be high quality poems.
Each Poem gives me forty dollars to use for improv classes but they must be high quality poems.
---Post on my Author Facebook page twenty five times.
Each post is a quarter toward improv..
--Post on my personal facebook page fifty times.
Each post is a quarter toward improv.
--Comment on one hundred and fifty facebook posts.
Each comment is a quarter toward improv but they must be genuine and add real value
Each post is a quarter toward improv..
--Post on my personal facebook page fifty times.
Each post is a quarter toward improv.
--Comment on one hundred and fifty facebook posts.
Each comment is a quarter toward improv but they must be genuine and add real value
---Participate in Do You Have Goals bloghop.
Five dollars toward improv.
--Participate in The Insecure Writer's Support Group bloghop.
Five dollars toward improv.
--Write and post a book review.
Five dollars toward improv.
--Comment on fifty seven new blogs that I genuinely find interesting. Each comment is a quarter toward improv class.
So that's my April strategy. Have you ever experimented with a reward system for yourself? What has worked best for you?
Five dollars toward improv.
--Participate in The Insecure Writer's Support Group bloghop.
Five dollars toward improv.
--Write and post a book review.
Five dollars toward improv.
--Comment on fifty seven new blogs that I genuinely find interesting. Each comment is a quarter toward improv class.
So that's my April strategy. Have you ever experimented with a reward system for yourself? What has worked best for you?
